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Joke of the Day

"Every time I see of a white person being killed by a wild animal in captivity, I think...Animal Cracker!"

"If you accept small grammatical errors, decent society collapses and then everyone starts marrying dogs. That's what happened to Australia."

"What do you do with a dog that doesn't have any legs? You take him for a drag."

"Dog ate raw chicken so I called the vet to see what I could do He asked what I think they eat in the wild. Basically, he called me an idiot"

"Marriage. When dating goes too far."

"Screech up to a yard sale. Ask if they have any haunted amulets. Yell at the dog in your backseat, ""I'm GETTING the spell reversed, Greg!"""

"Two frogs are in a bathtub getting washed. One frog turns to the other and says: Please pass the soap. The other frog says: What do you think I am a typewriter?"

"Why do people always look so embarrassed walking down the street with a pizza box? Be proud man, you've got a pizza!"

"Wanna hear a construction joke ? I'm still working on it."

"Trump is opting not to have celebrities at his inauguration in the same way that I opted not to take any cheerleaders to prom."