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Joke of the Day

"It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads."

"How do you keep redditors in suspense? I dunno, I'll tell ya tomorrow"

"What an old women's vagina taste like? Depends"

"I always close my eyes when I kiss a woman. Experience tells me that if my eyes are open, I get a lot more pepper spray in them."

"Is a Welshman's girlfriend... ...his baae?"

"A girl and her sugar daddy are in bed and she's about to orgasm... ""Daddy I'm cumming!"" ""Hi Cumming, I'm dad"""

"Ignorance is only bliss until you wish you knew the answer"

"friend: here he comes. dont set him off again. me: ok me&friend: hey JADEN SMITH: What If We Are the Hay, And The World Is Harvesting Us?"

"""I am the ghost of Christmas Future Perfect Subjunctive: I will show you what would have happened were you not to have changed your ways!"""

"Why did Jon Snow go to the Apple Store? For the Watch."