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Joke of the Day

"It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads."

"I got expelled from school on pajama day. It's not my fault I sleep naked."

"What did the snail say when he jumped on the turtle's back? Wheeeeee!"

"So I was giving my gf the ghomeshi last night.... ^That is the joke and punchline all in one."

"I'm taking a 10-hour drive tomorrow and I'm worried about where I'll be pooping. What? No. I don't want to supersize. Aren't you listening?"

"How do you stop a dog smelling ? Put a peg on it's nose !"

"What do you do when a box kotex catches on fire? throw it on the ground and tampon it."

"Why do Mexicans only cross the border in pairs? Because it says no TRESpassing."

"What was the last thing Robin Williams said to his wife? You go on to bed, I'm just going to hang here a while."

"I don't mind your bad kids running around if you don't mind me tripping them."