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Joke of the Day

"I seriously hate it when a couple starts having an argument in front of you. They could have least waited until I got dressed and left."

"What does a miserable vegan eat? This pear. Thought of this horrible joke while eating a juicy ass pear!"

"So Miley Cyrus was hospitalized after an allergic reaction. Apparently the ecstasy she took was made in a facility which also processes tree nuts."

"Yoga pants and Walmart My nephew told me all women have nice butts in yoga pants, so I took him to walmart so he could see the error of his thoughts."

"Microsoft should try making an optimistic and articulate robot that adjusts its responses based on interactions with the public. They could call it Marco Rubio."

"Did you hear that Robin got married? Holy Matrimony, Batman!"

"When apart, Sodium and Chlorine are harmful. When they form a bond, they are harmless to humans. Huh, isn't that ionic?"

"A police body camera is like Pokemon GO for catching criminals Mostly because it never seems to work properly"

"Teaching your dog to fetch a beer is smart. Fetching it from the neighbours house is genius."

"Just took a 70% lean meatloaf out of the oven, and now it's supposed to ""rest"" because in America even our food is fat and lazy."