208621

Joke of the Day

"(All credit goes to my 4 year old niece) How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Tentickles!"

"I told my girlfriend that I wanted to be cremated.. I then told my family that I had no specific burial requests, just make sure that they don't have me cremated, no matter what."

"I can't pull a rabbit out of a hat. But I can pull a hair out of my ass."

"A Jewish boy asks his dad for 50 dollars... His dad says, ""40 dollars?! What do you need 30 dollars for?!!"""

"What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head? Sister-Matic"

"When I said I missed you, I meant with a hammer"

"What's the difference between a goldfish and a mountain goat? Goldfish like to muck around the fountain."

"If you sit beside me, you're part of my drumkit."

"What do you call it when you make fun of someone's gambling addiction? Slot shaming."

"It's a shame Jerry Hall never got it on with Vidal Sassoon Then she'd have completed rock, paper and scissors."