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Joke of the Day

"Dear Men. When a woman is upset, don't ask her what's wrong, but for fuck's sake don't not ask her what's wrong either. Hope this helps."

"What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend? I need space."

"Snooki, but without the orange tan and poofy hair. And she's in charge of North Korea."

"Girls get so turned on when you take charge. Grab her hair and tell her she needs a shampoo with no harsh sulfates and a new lip stain."

"What do an elephant and a giraffe have in common? They are both gray except for the giraffe."

"Why couldn't the Tuba player get a date? He was too low key."

"Reddit is the ultimate safe space for the most oppressed human that ever lived... ...The white middle-class American male."

"Hi, I'm a zombie, can I eat you out?"

"My friend asked me if I wanted to skip class. I said ""nah, I think I'll pass."""

"I finally decided on my Halloween costume. I'm going to go as a French pancake chef; that'll really give people the crepes."