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Joke of the Day

"me: helo darkness my old friend darkness, who just turned 30 and is totaly self-conscious about his age: cmon man im not old"

"A Priest and a Rabbi walk by a park... The Priest turns to the Rabbi and days, ""Hey, wanna screw 'em?"" The Rabbi looks confused for a moment, and replies with, ""Out of what?"""

"Relationship status: DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, YOU CALLED A STORMTROOPER A ROBOT"

"Why did the guy have Ben Franklin tattooed on his dick? His girlfriend was great at blowing 100 bucks."

"My attention span is shorter than donuts are better with sprinkles."

"My mate asked me if Wonderwall was the most culturally influential track of all time I said maybe"

"Show someone you hate them by buying them an Edible Arrangement."

"Sorry I yelled, ""HAIL SATAN"" at your baby's baptism."

"It blows my mind that people walk around acting like Steve Harvey won't jump out from behind a bush at any moment & murder them."

"What do you call it when you flip a quarter and it lands on its edge. *coin*cidence"