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Joke of the Day

"Life takes you where you are meant to be. Apparently I am meant to be poor with a ton of education and experience."

"What's long, stiff and full of se(a)men? Maddie McCan"

"What do you call 100 lesbians with assault rifles? Militia Etheridge"

"My ex-wife says she misses me... But her aim is getting better."

"Soviet Valentine's Day You are the hammer to my sickle."

"A Gnome Joke What do you call a gnome who's highly fashionable and likes to produce regular, metrical beats? A Metrognome"

"""Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."" Me, to my empty bag of Oreos."

"What did one royal family say to the other before getting into a fight? Put up your Dukes! I'll just let myself out..."

"Q: What's a little quicker than a shark? A: The Little Mermaid on her period."

"TIL that in the US a woman is raped every 56 seconds And boy is my dick starting to get sore."