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Joke of the Day

"Dr: your father is real sick Woman: [sobbing] how long? [her dad wheelies past on a bmx] Dr: almost six yards that time"

Next Joke
 
"Cop : HANDS IN THE AIR! Me: *drunk, starts flailing arms* Cop: NO, NOT LIKE YOU JUST DON'T CARE"
"Why wont a Jewish cannibal eat a German? Germans seem to give them bad gas..."
"How many Amish guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One... I mean, they aren't fucking retarded."
"My cremated aunt used to give great advice. She always told me that you have to urn your place in life."
"What do you call a struggling artist? Baroque."
"I bet when the first guy wore glasses everybody was like ""Oh la de da, excuse me Mr. I Need TWO Monocles."""
"Seven dwarves... sitting in a bath and they all felt happy. Happy got out and they all felt grumpy."
"why can't you keep a jew in jail? they eat lox..."
"What did the Nazi become after the war ended? A veterinarian (veteran aryan)."