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Joke of the Day

"I have seasonal depression I'm depressed in the spring, summer, fall and winter"

"Russell Crowe was arrested for biting a woman's face off. When asked about it, he said he was ""Glad he ate her""."

"If by raw food you mean cookie dough, then yes, I love raw food."

"I'd fuck around on my husband more but he gets jealous when I make sandwiches for other people."

"Genie: ""You have 3 wishes."" Ian: ""I wish for everyone to be equal."" Genie: ""Okay. You have no wishes."""

"As far as I know original golf joke So what does a bogey have in common with a dead golfer? One too many strokes."

"I told my friends I found my Lasik surgeon on Yelp and they were horrified. Or interested, I'm not sure, I can't make out faces so well."

"What do you call a Rapper who smokes too much? Tupac-aday"

"When did the gay atheist become religious and started praying? When the gunman walked into the club he was in and started shooting and the doors were locked."

"Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup."