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Joke of the Day

"I'd fuck around on my husband more but he gets jealous when I make sandwiches for other people."

"teen son: 'cause the boyz n the hood are always hard /u come talkin that trash we'll pull your card mom: take out the trash & mow the yard."

"I found a great recipe in my mathbook Everything was amazing except the *cos-law*"

"I farted on an elevator, it was wrong on so many levels. From /r/PeterL"

"What was Beethoven's favorite fruit? BA-NA-NA-NA!"

"""i would like to propose a toast"" - slice of bread"

"Someone told me my clothes were gay. I said, ""Yeah, they've just come out of the closet."""

"I don't always roll a joint, But when I do it's my ankle"

"I've already received over 150 RSVPs to my Halloween Shindig... It's going to be a Monster Party."

"Doctor: Sir, I have two bad news for you The first is that you have 48 hours before you die -And the second one? :'( I should have told you yesterday"