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Joke of the Day

"How do reptilians melt steel beams? thermite."

"Why shouldn't you bowl against a snake? Because snakes make lots of strikes."

"What did Marshawn Lynch say when he went to traffic school? I'm just here so I won't get fined."

"I need to stop asking strangers if they're ticklish, and just start tickling them."

"Dang girl you're so hot because you have all the physical attributes that the general media has conditioned me to find attractive."

"What did the blonde's mom say before the blonde's date? If you are not in bed by 12, come home."

"What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common? Their biggest hit was The Wall."

"How can you help a starving cannibal? Give them a hand !"

"If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, do feminists still blame men for it?"

"[wakes up next to perfectly crocheted sweater with knitting needles in hands] Oh dear god not again"