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Joke of the Day
"A woman never wakes up her second baby just to see it smile."
Next Joke
"Geometry is so discriminatory How come there are only straight angles?"
"wife: it looks too tight me: it's fine, let's just go [ten minutes later paramedics have to cut my turtleneck off after I pass out]"
"Two clowns are eating a cannibal. The first clown says to the second ""I think we're doing this joke wrong""."
"What's the difference between a cup and a mug? being cupped is far more pleasurable than being mugged"
"What is the difference between a terrorist training camp and a Pakistani elementary school? I don't know, I just fly the drones."
"What branch of government actually listens to the people? [The NSA !](/spoiler)"
"Sometimes I'll just go ""liking"" some shit on the Internet and I honestly don't even know if I really mean it."
"What do you get when you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber? Nothing, you can't cross a vector and a scalar."
"I took one of those online IQ tests ... And got a 404. I'm a super genius!"