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Joke of the Day

"My dad just gave me a toilet plunger as a house warming gift. Dads, they're always helpin you with shit "

"Let's call Trump the ""Second Place President."" He'll love that."

"You should kill me for this but... Did you see the engraving under the mineral sculpture of the famous punner's head? It said, ""Wordplay Ore Bust"""

"""Steak and Shake"" great burgers and also a good way to kill baby vampires."

"What is the name of Bruce Lee's crippled brother? Broccoli"

"You block or unfollow me because I follow or retweet someone you don't like. Kindergarten called & said you left your maturity level there."

"I keep burning food with my Presidential Debate microwave... I set it for 2 minutes but it never stops on time."

"I like turntablism. Some of the samples really speak to me."

"Little did he know that his foot powered filing system would have made him billions if he had only thought of a better name - The Ped-o-file"

"What's a Yankee? It's like a quickie except you do it yourself."