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Joke of the Day

"""I'm scared of thunder and vacuums but this beehive full of killer bees looks delicious."" - Dogs"

"What do you say to a one legged hitch-hiker? Hop in."

"How do Muslims seperate the men from the boys? With a crowbar."

"Before Facebook and online dating, I seriously don't think I've ever seen a picture of a person in their bathroom."

"You know what West Virginians say about dating, don't you? The closer the kin, the better the skin."

"Saw a young couple holding hands today & it reminded me that I need to buy a bottle of vodka"

"Dang you got a good deal on your tattoo and the squirrel's so realistic. What? A portrait of your Mom? Dude I wish my Mom was a squirrel."

"[wife explaining to me how deaths in movies work] So the actors really don't die? ""No"" So is Abraham Lincoln really not dead? *she sighs*"

"What do you call tea made by a stoned marsupial? High koala tea"

"Stranger: ""Excuse me where is the nearest..."" Me: ""GOOGLE IT!"""