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Joke of the Day

"Might stand on a construction site looking at blue prints today and see what happens."

"I hate being ""backwards guy"" when moving funiture. I could get hurt."

"If everyone had a gun, we wouldn't have to worry about gun violence. This is why war zones are noted for their safety."

"So there's this guy that does nothing but masturbate and watch Netflix all day... Oh wait... That's me."

"Tomorrow I'm going to start using big words to sound smart....Sorry, I meant utilizing gargantuan idioms to simulate intelligence"

"*spits out mouthful of peacock feathers* I'm sorry, I thought these were for just anyone to eat. *gets escorted from zoo*"

"A Guy Walks Into A Bar And Sees... (nsfw, I guess) ... a dog licking its balls. He says ""I wish I could do that"" and the bartender say ""Give him a biscuit, he might let you."""

"What is the difference between a black man and an elevator? An elevator can raise a child."

"This guy texting in metro besides me keeps covering his phone, like I care about his dinner plans in CP with his girlfrnd ""Shona baby"""

"My neighbors listen to good music. Whether they want to or not!"