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Joke of the Day
"I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. "
Next Joke
"I hate to say ""I told you so"", so Im going to sing it."
"Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because the octopus was well armed."
"Whenever teachers say 'show your work', just write a bunch of numbers down and hope they're tired that night."
"If my calculations are correct, slinky + escalator = everlasting fun."
"My grandmother died and left me a tomato. I shouldn't have asked for any heirlooms."
"What do you call someone who strictly prefers white rice over brown rice? A goddamn riceist"
"A horse walks into a bar. The bartender confuses jokes with idioms, and offers the horse water but can't make it drink."
"A person in my class is constantly playing with his watch I wish I had that kind of time on my hands"
"When I see someone has 1,500 followers on twitter, I think ""that person must b funny"". 1,500 friends on FB ""that person is batshit crazy"""