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Joke of the Day

"Mandela dead at 95. Respect. That's 5mph faster than Paul Walker."

"Where did Dr. Pepper get his degree? The University of Minnesoda"

"I went to the doctor with a hearing problem... I told him I got fucked in the ear. Now I have hearing aids."

"What did the sea monster have for dinner? Fish and ships."

"What did the angry Indian man say at the bakery? I'm having naan of it."

"What ""c word"" describes my girlfriend and why I'm not getting any? Carpaltunnel"

"Maybe zombies just have shampoo in their eyes."

"EA just announced this amazing FIFA 16 feature - player is now able to run from the FBI"

"Greeks lined up for ATM? Isn't that kinda their thing?"

"Donald Trump and I agree on one thing. We both would like to bang his daughter."