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Joke of the Day

"What did the sea monster have for dinner? Fish and ships."

"Yes, I've lost to my computer at chess. But it turned out to be no match for me at kickboxing."

"A: Took my temperature today. B: Oh really? A: No, rectally."

"The widow ask the doctor ""Why did my husband die?"" Doctor responds: ""Heavy drug use, ma'am"" Widow: ""But doctor, my husband didn't use drugs!"" Doctor: ""I know, but I did"""

"Q: What kind of cards do donkeys send out near Christmas? ... A: Mule-tide greetings."

"A year on twitter... I remember when all this was fields."

"What goes ""quick, quick""? Duck in a hurry. (c) beatattitude 2014"

"Tried Turkish food today... It was revolting"

"I have a friend that's a Jehova's Witness This one time she got mad at me, because she told a knock knock joke, and I refused to answer."

"Did you hear about the man with a cold who went to a miniature petting zoo? He was feeling a little hoarse."