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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel."

"If you wear a man bun in a dimly lit restaurant and I call you ma'am... That's on you."

"My knock, knock joke Knock, Knock Who's there? The Doctor. Doctor who? No, just The Doctor."

"What is Grammar? The difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit"

"I'm shaking what my momma gave me. It's the most darling snowglobe I've ever seen. LOOK AT IT."

"How is the world like a bag of jellybeans? Nobody likes the black ones."

"I've had good' tattooed down my cock. I like to see a bit of good in everyone."

"[Being kidnapped] Me: i can feel it.. Stockholm syndrome kidnapper: its been 10 minutes me: should we invite your brother to the wedding?"

"[moses parts sea] Slaves: wow! Why we running away if u can do shit like that? Lets go back & claim the pyramids Moses: thats my only trick"

"LIAM NEESON: [writing grocery list] bread milk cheese eggs vengeance [he stops writing, frowns] vengeance grapes"