207819

Joke of the Day

"Q: What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding? A: Bach in the saddle again."

"[airport security] *Beep* ""step through again, but don't say Beep."" *Alarm* ""Once more sir, but if u speak, I'll shoot u."" {thinks} *bzzt*"

"So I tried to get a ride from Subway., Turns out that they don't deliver"

"Tim Cook: ""We're excited to annou-"" #Apple fans: ""We'll buy it."" Tim Cook: ""Let me fini-"" Apple fans: ""We'll buy that too."" #iPhone6"

"Hey man, want to buy some stolen peppers? Careful, they're hot."

"Did you hear about the 2 guys who stole a calender? They each got 6 months"

"How do you turn a link on r/jokes purple? You choke the shit out of him"

"It's Facebook's 10th birthday today. Let's all click ""Maybe"" on the event invite and then not show up."

"I used to play pocket hockey... ...but I stopped because the referee was a dick."

"[stewardess] ""Sir, even if you ARE, as you say, the REAL Slim Shady- the captain has asked for all passengers to remain seated at this time"""