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Joke of the Day

"It's Facebook's 10th birthday today. Let's all click ""Maybe"" on the event invite and then not show up."

"I lost ten pounds! Learn my hot diet secret! (I replaced booze with pot)"

"People who don't have a name for their newborn, What the shit did you do for 9 months?"

"why did the hipster burn his tounge? because he ate the pizza before it was cool."

"Why did the black man wear a suit to his vasectomy? If he was going to be Impotent he wanted to look impotent. (important)"

"We've all been yelled at... Let us all just take a moment of silence for the times we have been yelled at for doing something wrong on reddit..."

"George Carlin: Dead. Leslie Nielsen: Dead. Mitch Hedberg: Dead. Greg Giraldo: Dead. Dane Cook: A-Okay. God has some explaining to do."

"Ben Carson: Health care is not a right. Trump: We're not gonna just let people die in the streets! Carson: Oh you're so hippocratical!"

"Sometimes... when you cry ... no one sees your tears... sometimes... when you are happy... no one sees your smile... But fart just one time..."

"I met Mrs. Right today Too bad she's already married."