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Joke of the Day

"So I tried to get a ride from Subway., Turns out that they don't deliver"

"I wish my phone would stop correcting omg' to OMG', I'm not that shocked."

"My brain is like Internet Explorer Slow, rarely used, and needs some things deleted from its history"

"How do Hawaiian Muslims greet each other? ""Aloha Akbar!"""

"What did Donald Trump hate most about school? Essays."

"I had phone sex with my boyfriend over a walkie-talkie. I could hear him coming from a mile away."

"What does a tuna, a glue stick, and a piano have not have in common? You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."

"I've said it before and I'll say it again I've said it before"

"[doorbell] 4: *opens door Hi, is your mom home? 4: she's in the tower mom: whispers from behind door ""no no no it's SHOWER not tower!"""

"I went to see a gay magician's show last night. For his last trick, he disappeared with a poof..."