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Joke of the Day

"Two flies are eating a turd. One of them farts, and the other one says ""Dude, gross. I'm eating."""

"What's the difference between a kindergarten class and an ISIS camp? I don't know man, I just fly the drone."

"[undercover FBI agent who's had me under surveillance for weeks decides to blow his cover] do you ever stop eating?"

"Still up can't sleep thinking about how i can infuse kush into shampoo"

"Girlfriend kept nagging me to take her home to meet my family, so I did. Her and my wife aren't getting along."

"Chalant isn't even a word. Well played nonchalant. Well played."

"If you've never seen Bear Grylls before... Urine for a treat"

"This years Olympics in Rio is going to be one of the most steady and relaxing Games in history No one will be Russian."

"Why don't kleptomaniacs get puns? Because they always take things literally."

"Me and my friends.. My friend: Your dick is probably like a tic tac. Me: No wonder your moms mouth is so fresh. Class: OOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!! #GetRekt scrub m8"