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Joke of the Day

"This years Olympics in Rio is going to be one of the most steady and relaxing Games in history No one will be Russian."

"I bet Hitler & the guy who invented the car alarm belong to a book club together in hell."

"Sex is like fishing... You gotta know how to handle the rod!"

"I joked about a robot uprising until I waved at an automatic paper towel dispenser and nothing happened. THEY'RE EVOLVING INTO PRETTY GIRLS!"

"I haven't seen a kid on a leash in a while. I guess parents started releasing them back into the wild."

"How do you agitate an achy feminist runner? massage a knee"

"[Mugshot photographer] Me: now lets do a silly one"

"I got a bootleg copy of ""Alien vs Predator"" It was just some Mexican guy fighting a priest!"

"What do you call a slutty fisherman/woman? A hooker."

"Where do David Cameron and his party meet? In the Conservatory!"