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Joke of the Day

"Is your refrigerator running? Because there is a fucking dead horse inside of it."

"PRIEST: In the beginning there was the word ME: capsicum P: no M: tumescent gerund caliphate P: stop trying to guess the word M: maelstrom"

"Boy 1: ""How did you get that bruise on your arm?"" Boy 2: ""I ate some Easter candy."" Boy 1: ""Eating Easter candy won't give you a bruise."" Boy 2: ""It will if it's your big brother's candy!"""

"What's Irish and stays out all night? Patio Furniture"

"What type of condom does Spock use? Vulcanized rubber!"

"I can almost always tell when a movie doesn't use real zombies."

"Best technique for screwing a fattie... Flip through her rolls until you smell shit, then just flip back one."

"Wait come back, I didn't mean it when I was just being myself"

"Why did the 16 year old Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to go home and do an essay."

"What did the field say to the farmer with no crops? Stop fallowing me!"