192142

Joke of the Day

"I can almost always tell when a movie doesn't use real zombies."

"My gf thinks I cook our meals cause I love her. Really, it's cause I'm afraid she might try to poison me."

"Today my brother got pinkeye... My day went pretty well, but in his eyes it was pretty shitty."

"Yo mama so fat.. she uses google plus(G+) instead of regular google"

"Where do OB/GYNs go to school? Gynecolleges."

"I don't trust stairs... They always look like they're up to something."

"What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and vagina? Only some of the things that come out of her vagina are retarded."

"I stuck my foot in a honeycomb. I bee tripping."

"The Galactic Empire, after the destruction of the Death Star, has taken to bowling during the interim. The Empire Strikes Back, they call it."

"Born again Christian I've never understood the term ""born again Christian."" Is that someone who goes to their mother and says, ""Mom, I'm going back in, and I'm not coming out until I've found Jesus."""