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Joke of the Day

"CAPT. AMERICA: Merry Christmas, Hulk! Happy Hanukkah, The Thing! Er... what religion are you, Thor? THOR: Do you understand I'm an actual god"

"My career as a baseball catcher was cut short because I insisted on kissing the ball every time before I threw it back to the pitcher."

"Maybe this is the vodka speaking, but Hi! I'm made from potatoes!"

"Steps to survive on a dessert island: 1. check spelling 2. if correct, enjoy"

"What makes men cheat on women? Women!"

"polish priest sacked by the Vatican...... Well that's really taken the shine off the pope :)"

"How do you get away with murder? Become a cop first."

"Holy shit a street psychic just stopped me & said I'm a special person who cares deeply about some things & I'm freaking 'cause that's SO me"

"What's Hitler's favorite part of a golf course? The bunker"

"just ran into my high school biology teacher. she said ""i figured you'd have cured cancer by now."" then i washed bird shit off her tahoe"