207501

Joke of the Day

"2016: Sanders wins presidency 2017: Marijuana legalized in all 50 states 20$x: lol what were we talking about"

"I'm only good for two things... Self-defecating and self-deprecating."

"Sorry it took me 10 months to text you back. I'm a snake now and I typed this with my head."

"What was the ninja pigs' surprise attack called? Hambush"

"To neigh or not to neigh. That is equestrian."

"I Got a Haircut Recently It wasn't what I wanted but it grew on me."

"A guy walks into a bar with a bit of asphalt. He walks up to the bar tender and says 'I'll have a beer and one for the road'."

"Did you hear the one about the Mexican magician? He told his audience that he'd disappear on the count of 3. He counted ""Uno! Dos!""... And disappeared without a tres."

"Why don't the french like kiwifruit? Because of the green piece inside."

"Friend: I'm getting married! Me: Have you considered just letting a homeless man sleep on your couch, instead?"