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Joke of the Day

"Pokemon Go goes live in Canada today You idiots."

"Why do SCUBA divers fall backwards out of boats? Because if they fell forwards, they'd land in the boat."

"What did the urologist say to his physician before he hired him? URINE. I'll let myself out."

"What did the Giant say to the cripple? Hodor. Hodor! Hodor!"

"If my life had a soundtrack it would be the sound of a rusty gate slowly closing and then falling off its hinges onto a bunch of ugly cats..."

"Italian restaurant. I went to my local Italian restaurant last night, but there was a large fat woman standing at the entrance. I couldn't get pasta."

"how would you describe US with first four alphabets? ABCD (A B Cd.....) as in obesity.... Will show myself to hell now."

"The human liver can withstand up to 97% damage and make a full recovery. Yet not one doctor will accept this as an argument for alcoholism."

"How did King Wenceslas like his pizza? Deep pan, crisp and even."

"ran out of deodorant this morning, so I spritzed on some windex. Now birds keep crashing into my armpits :("