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Joke of the Day

"how would you describe US with first four alphabets? ABCD (A B Cd.....) as in obesity.... Will show myself to hell now."

"To the guy that invented the number zero Thanks for nothing."

"[Bomb will explode in 26 seconds] *googles ""how to defuse a bomb""* *clicks top result* *it's a 17-page slideshow.* GODDAMMIT *an ad plays*"

"Why do you never see any Stormtroopers as photographers? They always miss the shot"

"I've never enjoyed my surprise birthday parties because all I can think about is how good my friends are at lying to my face."

"I don't know why I broke up with my girl at the gym... I guess we just weren't working out."

"How did the paramedics know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove box"

"Did you hear about the man who lost his left arm and left leg? He was alright."

"ISIS vs North Korea. Who would win? everyone"

"I went to the dentist today... He said I wasn't wiping enough and that I have an anal cavity."