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Joke of the Day

"What two words have thousands of letters in them? Post office."

"A teenage girl found out that she was pregnant. She thought to herself ""My mom's gonna kill me"". the newly formed embryo did the same."

"Sex is like Pizza I haven't had any in a while."

"What do you call a shoe with no grip? A slipper. (Made this up today, but almost definitely will have been made up before by someone else)"

"What do you call a Mexican working at Tim Hortons? a Filipino"

"Why was the lizard's wife unsatisfied? Her hubby had a reptile dysfunction."

"I took a Scottish girl to the countryside. ""Hello view!"" she said, looking out the window of our rented house. I said, ""I love you too..."""

"How to pick up a girl Me: Are you interested in having the best sex of your life? Her: No. Me: Well then you came to the right place ;)"

"What happens when you combine bleach and a girl dog? You get a basic bitch"

"What do they call Counter-Strike in the Middle East? Tuesday."