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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend says she prefers a dildo over me. I never saw it coming"

"How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely ? With it's sparrowchute !"

"Have you worked at McDonalds? I have. I got fired not long ago. My boss was a clown."

"*friend bites off beer bottle cap at party* HONEY! HONEY!! NOW!! NOW!!! *wife jumps out car with a hundred jars from the fridge*"

"What is a priest's favorite snack? Little boysenberries."

"Where can you go on Reddit to ask questions? Not /r/movies."

"If Mississippi wears her New Jersey, what does Delaware? I dunno, Alaska."

"Why was the mathematician stressed out? He was in a dilemma."

"During my last prostate exam I asked my doctor to stick in another finger. Because I wanted a second opinion."

"You people that are getting laid regularly either need to keep that stuff to yourselves or be more descriptive."