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Joke of the Day

"Sports are a lot like porn... Great ball handling skills can make a lot of money."

"You got 30 minutes to text me back or I'm breaking into your house & responding to myself."

"Doctor: ""It's bad news, you have cancer and Alzheimer's."" Patient: ""Oh well, it could be worse - at least I don't have cancer."""

"People just said ""go to the gym"" they never mentioned that you have to actually do things when you get there I've been doing this so wrong."

"My sister is a Cancer... ironic how she died... Killed by a giant crab."

"What did the illiterate Mexican say to the funny looking bottle of mayonnaise? ""LMAO"""

"Why did the Ferguson protesters go home early last night? The whole thing was a gas."

"Tom Cruise Jokes, Anyone?"

"He says I'm cute when I'm mad. Well he has no idea of how gorgeous I can be."

"german jesus why jesus not born in germany?there was not three wise men and not one virgin around"