228362

Joke of the Day

"Hear toddler having meltdown at Target Me: Parents should control their kids! Cashier: Isn't she yours? Me: C: I saw her come in with you."

"Why can you not hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the 'P' is silent."

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? A Megasaurass"

"I went to bed with a 7 and woke up with a 10. Forced upgrades should be illegal, Microsoft."

"We were called to the Paralympics this year. Several wheelchair athletes were caught using the banned substance WD40."

"I like to do the same thing to my girlfriend that I do with my drum set Pretend that I have one"

"A co-worker of mine vocally disapproved with my proposal to ban pyrotechnics in nightclubs... I told her to give her rebuke a rest."

"I like my coffee like I like my women... No Penis"

"Bra's are also called over the shoulder boulder holder's. What do you call men's underwear? Under the butt nut hut."

"I just saw an ad for a bulletproof briefcase. The real question is: why does your briefcase have so many enemies?"