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Joke of the Day

"Ever hear the one about the welfare moocher who used his government payoffs to live on lobster and steak? It was Donald Trump."

"Nothing makes me second-guess my language like a little voice chirping, ""Mommy, I found your freaking measuring spoons."""

"""I love plates."" - Plato"

"911 what's the emergency ""Please help, I made too much spaghetti"" Relax sir, we've all been th*spaghetti starts coming out of the phone*"

"Why do french tanks have rear-view mirrors? So they can see the front-lines."

"Why is Caitlyn Jenner's stomach bad for you? 'Cause it's full of trans-fat."

"If you replace the ""W"" in ""where"" ""what"" and ""when"" with ""T"" you get answers to the questions."

"Why do sumo-wrestlers shave their legs? So they don't get mistaken for feminists."

"Went to a sausage party It was the wurst."

"You know who's full of themselves Narcissistic cannibals"