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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a clever monster? Frank Einstein."

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"They weren't pleased that I played I heavy metal song in the church but I resolved it on Gsus"
"Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking about retiring? He decided to stick it out for another year."
"My wife caught me masturbating to one of those magic eye pictures. I told her it's not what it looks like"
"""Where do you see yourself in five years?"" ""I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."""
"if we're on a date and you're rude to the waiter I'd be like holy shit I'm on a date"
"What do you call it when you drop an apple on the ground? A fruit by the foot"
"Growing up, my parents nicknamed by penis 'Eamonn' I never managed to get all my pee in the bowl."
"I'd like to tell you guys a chemistry joke But based on my experience so far in this sub, I'm sure I won't get any reaction"
"Ten Dollar Hooker A man goes to see a ten dollar hooker, then he gets crabs. He goes back to her to complain and she tells him ""What the hell did you expect for ten dollars? Lobster?"""