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Joke of the Day

"My wife caught me masturbating to one of those magic eye pictures. I told her it's not what it looks like"

"Autocorrect is horrible... I'm so tired of this shirt"

"My middle finger is always ready to give you a standing ovation after you say something stupid."

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? TEN TICKLES!!"

"Two people are walking down the street...... One is a musician. The other doesnt have any money either."

"I think 50 Cent should run for President in 2020 He's change we can believe in"

"I think the guy in front of me is trying to resolve the world's economic issues single handedly at this ATM."

"I'd like to return this pack of gum. They taste awful. ""Sir, those are Band-Aids."" Oh, I'd like to return these Band-Aids. Someone ate some."

"Yo mama hair so short when she braided it they looked like stiches."

"I got a free wallet and watch today. It's like this gun is magic."