71777

Joke of the Day

"A man spread his late wife's ashes on the lawn... ...so he could still cut her at least once a week."

"Did you hear about Hellen Keller's tree house? Neither did she."

"*shipwrecked diary* Day 1: alone, doing well. Mentally sound. Met a crab Day 2: I have married the crab. Day 3: I have eaten my wife."

"Garbage men have Hefty contracts."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can help you look for it quicker, in a convertible."

"What kind of railway is an Italian engineer's favourite? Funicula"

"What does an Italian cow say when he gets an extra delivery of hay to the barn? That's amorehay!"

"Heard of The Gay Martini? they're pretty strong. You drink just one and you can't see straight."

"Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement... ...in the end, you ignore it all and click ""I agree""."

"I was arrested for indecent exposure, but, sadly, released for lack of evidence."