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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't Biggy or Tupac ever get decent internet on their phones? They were just 2G's"

"I heard that Yoga class was a great place to meet women So I went every day for three months. Bad news is I didn't meet a girl. Good news is I can now give myself a blowjob."

"It's amazing how few people list ""The Hospital"" as their emergency contact."

"Which political discussions between the Russians and Americans keenly interest Burger Land citizens? The SALT talks!"

"If I had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents."

"Did you hear, John Wayne Bobbit got his penis cut off again? Isn't that redickless?"

"me: i'm really glad we met, i feel like I can completely be myself around u. u had me at hello kidnapper: pls stop talking"

"Did you hear the one about three Scotsmen who walk out of a bar? It could happen.."

"The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester."

"I was in a band that played nothing but pirate shanty covers of Sex Pistols songs... We call ourselves ""The Fuck Muskets"""