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Joke of the Day

"I want to get a job cleaning mirrors It's just something I could see myself doing"

"5: I went potty. Me: Did you remember to wipe this time? 5: No. Me: Why? 5: It's faster my way. I don't know how to counter that argument."

"How does the Kool-Aid man end his jokes... with a punchline."

"Editor: You wrote a play about Victorian England using menstrual blood as ink? Me: Yes, it's a period piece."

"Why don't Barbie and Ken have kids? Ken came in a different box."

"While at our wedding, I pointed out to my wife-to-be... that her her veil wasn't nearly opaque enough. She responded by discreetly implying she would hit me. It was a thinly-veiled threat."

"""Would you like to put your hand deep into this hole"" - Pokemon I know it says no outside links but it's necessary cause it's a screenshot of a poorly phrased event in Pokemon http://imgur.com/a/Zt8X6"

"Blond joke! :D What do you call a dead blond in the closet? - last year's hide & seek! :D"

"Microsoft has developed a special version of the Halo 3 rendering engine which can run within LibreOffice Calc spreadsheets... It's called Halo3.**ods**t"

"What is the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum, you just can't beat it!"