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Joke of the Day
"You gotta hand it to short people because they can't reach it"
Next Joke
"I am terrible at English... But I love meth. **Note: As far as I know my brother came up with this joke and I can't find it on the internet so.**"
"*pulls up to a red light with my windows down blasting NPR*"
"me: wow the stars are beautiful gf: omg babe they really are me: u know who else is beautiful? gf: *blushes* who? :3 me: Harambe"
"What is the meaning of life? A movie. Told to me by Siri. Pissed myself."
"I've never grabbed less than fifteen napkins."
"What's the best thing about being homeless... You don't have to duck and cover during an earthquake."
"Batman: ""Shall we watch a film?"" Superman: ""Have you got Cape Fear?"" Batman: ""Only in revolving doors. Now, a film?"""
"What state has the smallest sodas? Minisoda :)"
"What does a statistician call a defective butter substitute? A margarine of error!"