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Joke of the Day
"Shocked to see Gravity win a special effects award. Thought it was actually filmed in space"
Next Joke
"*mob meeting* ayo new guywho're you? ""they call me the butcher"" oh yea? why's that, butch? *smacks him with a pork loin* ""no reason"""
"GENIE: 3 wishes. But no extra wishes & no sex stuff Me: why not? GENIE: I make the rules ME: I wish I made the rules GENIE: ...dammit"
"I don't know why I still tell ""just the tip"" jokes. I'm not even that into them."
"I found a new passion yesterday pairing socks. I guess I just enjoy bringing sole mates together."
"Did you hear about the guy who drunk brake fluid everyday? He's ok he can stop whenever he wants."
"I remember the first time I saw my girlfriend, her hair was blowing in the wind, but she was too proud to run after it."
"They should sell flags for fake countries so people can burn them without offending anyone."
"*Buying flowers* Sales girl: Would you like the receipt? Me: Sure! If they don't work, I'll be bringing them back."
"Patron 1: I eat at a different restaurant every day. Patron 2: I don't tip either."