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Joke of the Day

"*double-checks the constitution to see if we really have to have a president*"

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"Whats long and black? the unemployed line."
"When chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders."
"I was recently in court with a necrophiliac as a judge... Everyone got the death sentence."
"eating the classic new york dish we all know and love that's right the individually purchased sleeve of ritz crackers"
"whoever decided how to spell camouflage is a terrible terrible person"
"For once Bill will be talking about Hillary... When he says she blew it."
"If by chipper you mean woodchipper, then yes, I have a chipper personality."
"A former boxer decided to go into the writing business There is no punchline."
"Life hack: ask telemarketers and phone scammers to go steady seconds into the conversation and never be bothered again OR now you found love"