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Joke of the Day

"Pandora has spoiled me. Five seconds into any conversation and I'm looking for the thumbs-down button."

"I went for sushi with Luke Skywalker and he was struggling with chopsticks... ""Use the fork, Luke!"" I said."

"You put the punchline in the title Wanna know how to spoil a joke?"

"Why are rapists terrible at academics? BECAUSE THEY THINK WITH THE WRONG HEAD!"

"Why do geologists perform so well during intercourse? They really know how to make bedrock."

"What type of car would the Hamburglar drive? A Hamburghini."

"What do you call a bolt that dresses like a woman? A cross-threader"

"My wife said she wanted to have a space of her own in the house... I said, ""Of course, honey. Whatever makes you happy. From now on I'm not going to set foot in the kitchen."""

"I'm a senior in college with 2 semesters left, and I'm considering picking up a minor Do I lie about my age, or do I just offer to buy her cigarettes and booze?"

"What is the most common cause of feline blindness? Cataracts"