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Joke of the Day

"What do you call something that is big, red, and sucks cock? A big red cocksucker."

"What do you call a ghost in the Outback? An Apparigine!"

"Ladies, if a man doesn't answer your ""What are you doing tonight?"" text till it's already night time, you're Plan B."

"If Taylor Swift wasn't a famous singer, I bet she'd be crazy fucking annoying on Facebook."

"Yo girl, are you a zero APR loan? Because I don't really understand your terms and you keep saying you have no interest."

"How big is the US-Mexico border wall going to be? It's gonna be YUGE!!!"

" My friend's dog died the other day so I surprised her by going out and getting her an identical dog. She was furious, she said *""what am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?""*"

"kids r so cute!!! they dont wanna sleep becuase theyre afraid of having nightmares whereas adults cant wait to sleep so they can escape them"

"What did the salmon say to his shy Japanese girlfriend? Don't be koi."

"What's the difference between my broken watch and a lesbian? My watch hasn't got a strap on."