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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend said I never do anything to help so I hid her phone. I'll prove her wrong when I find it."

"Dopted Dad: Have you seen an animal named Dopted? Son: What's a Dopted? Dad: You are. You're adopted."

"People wonder what my abusive father does after mom left us... Beats me.."

"what's a good pick-up line in a gay bar? Can I push your stool in?"

"Will Glass Coffins Be A Success? Remains to be seen."

"what was Stevie Wonders first words when he got his eyesight back? Who the hells been dressing me all these years?"

"I just left my job, see why ? She : I just left my job. I couldn't work for that man after what he said to me. Me : What did he say ? She : You're fired."

"What do you call a happy penguin? A pengrin!"

"What's a blind man doing on a boat? Waiting for a bus."

"Ugh, who has time to work out?... I say before a 45 minute nap."