20666

Joke of the Day

"Why does everyone mention that in space no-one can hear you scream instead of mentioning something positive like how no-one can hear u yodel"

"Man I love watching women's curling in the Olympics. It's the only time I get to drink beer while cheering on women sweeping and no one slaps me."

"FACT: Uma Thurman is the only person to ever have been named by someone with a mouthful of food."

"I plan to donate my liver to an alcoholic so i'll know it's a match"

"I lost my job at the calendar factory. My boss said it was unacceptable that I'd taken a few days off."

"Yo mama so fat... She auditioned for Gargantua in the movie Interstellar but got rejected for being too fat"

"1+1=3 It does take about 9 months though"

"How does Dracula keep fit? He plays batminton."

"What does Saddam Hussein and little Miss Moffat have in common? They both had curds/Kurds in their whey/way!"

"Someone with Celiac disease but still eats wheat... Is a gluten for punishment."