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Joke of the Day

"Hey gurl, how about you make the Patriots and deflate these balls."

"Shopping at Walmart to test my immune system."

"What do particle physicists like to drink? Pina colliders."

"If you were my gf, I'd have a warm bath and a meal ready for when you got home every day Her: I'm your wife Like I said, if you were my gf"

"I like my women like I like my coffee."

"What happened to the plan of starting a book club? It got shelved."

"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."

"What's everyone's least favorite dish? Cunt Pao Chicken!"

"What's the difference between five dicks and a joke? Your mom can't take a joke."

"What do you call a pretzel with roofies in it? Forget-me-knots!"