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Joke of the Day

"I want to reenact a scene from 50 Shades of Gray.... Y'know the one where she gets a job right out of college."

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"You know your marriage is on the rocks when your wife goes to bed wearing a rape whistle."
"Why do the French always were white when pole vaulting? So people can see them surrender from afar. Edit: wrong form of the form ""wear"""
"You tell one kid there's candy inside an electrical outlet that can only be retrieved with a fork and you're never asked to babysit again"
"This election cycle makes me want to find a bar really badly... Do any 21st amendment people know where I can get a drink around here?"
"What concert ticket costs 45 cents? 50 Cent feat. Nickelback"
"was going to make a joke about science but I know for I wont get a reaction..."
"The easiest way to create a feeling a suspense. ..."
"I am the boss of me. And my wife is my boss's boss."
"What's the difference between a Transformer robot and a Transgender person? One is living in a spaceship and one is living a lie."