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Joke of the Day

"The worst part of eating vegetables getting them out the wheelchair"

"My friend said she was taking next week off to be with her new puppy. I said, ""You're taking mutt-ernity leave?"""

"Flowers bee like"

"If you're looking for someone to tell you what to do in the bedroom I'm pretty good at instructing on how to install window blinds."

"My best friend back home just had his first kid but I also will be giving birth today...to some relatable content"

"I guess George Lucas is not a Scrabble fan. It's R1 D2."

"Why was the pilot jealous of the chef? Because of his ground thyme."

"Peyton Manning is opening a bakery. As a special promotion, he's giving away turnovers."

"What do you call sliding into home plate, on a green field in Mexico? Muchas Grassy-ass. I'm sorry."

"There's only one thing I love more than bacon ...and I can't put pussy in my mashed potatoes."